(Sly and Whit scream at the sight of each other in a playground set). NC (voiceover): No child should be forced to see this. Dr. Kinder: Oh, for heaven’s sake, stop calling me that! After Dr. Kinder and the six other baby-geniuses are shocked that Whit and Sylvester switched places at the mall, Dr. Kinder decides to do a cross evaluation on Sylvester and Whit. (Cut to the audience waiting for NC to speak). But as you probably imagined, Sly breaks out again and sees if any of the other babies want to come with him.
Dr. Heep: (talks into a computer) Review project in summary form. Baby Geniuses. It’s coming up soon! And, yes, it is fucking…fucking creepy. My Q&A panel! (A photo of a boulder is shown before returning to the film).
Why does he need to hear this again? He’s trying to get fired from the day care center. Although Sly and Whit share a telepathic bond, they have no idea of each other's existence. visual effects editor: Creative Visual Effects, Inc. video engineer: Creative Visual Effects, Inc. digital compositor: Creative Visual Effects, Inc. matte painter: Creative Visual Effects, Inc. (as Tim Clark). (He suddenly looks away from it) Avert your eyes from its brilliance.
Yeah, uh-huh, and Larry King is the nephew of Justin Bieber. (Footage from that commercial is shown) Oh, yeah! Control Man #1: Give me Baby Bunting Vocal. (It runs away through an alley). NC (voiceover): There's scenes of a kid running unattended and sitting in the middle of the street, and yet ALL the pedestrians are like, (a green arrow points to a pedestrian waiting to cross the street) “Heh, whatever.
NC (voiceover): So, yeah, the babies can talk their own language. Lexi (a girl baby): She wouldn’t understand. animal fabricator: Michael Burnett Productions, Inc. designer: Michael Burnett Productions, Inc. shop coordinator: Michael Burnett Productions, Inc. (as Michael Chaille). What we hear as incoherent noise may actually be a musical masterpiece. (Cut to his placid expression) Just looking at this wall is giving me so much more than that movie ever could. That’s an eye-opener. Baby Geniuses. The exact same fucking joke. (Chaos ensues with the BabyCo guards fighting against the attacking mascots as a choir sings in the background), Baby Bunting: Baby want a hug! Yeah, bet you didn’t fucking know that, did you? The Cat in the Hat - Was That Real? Well, let’s start at the beginning. It’s the exact same joke! NC (voiceover): Oh, look, the baby said “ass.” He sweared in Baby Geniuses, as if this movie was honestly trying to market itself to an older audience. Except, you know, make it a fuck little more creepy. Robin: Honey, I think she’s trying to tell you this is the way things are supposed to be.
Simpsons did it! 1h 34m 30s Basil: It’s ‘cause he watches television all the time. I’m at a con in Ohio called Animarathon, but that’s not the reason I’m making this video. (He checks his phone) I have another one. Dr. Kinder: I want you all to see this little boy who has jeopardized everything we've worked for. Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain - Was That Real? Teddie (another girl baby): How’s he do that? NC (voiceover): Ohh, so this is how it’s supposed to be? NC (voiceover): Great. They’d shit their pants if they saw this coming towards them! Listen to our computer’s interpretation of Basil’s playing. NC (voiceover): And then we get horrific-ness. Oh, no real reason. Dr. Heep: It has all the complexities of a symphony of a Haydn or a Beethoven. Get a load of this: Because, apparently, babies go through changes where they just totally forget all about their genius and become everyday people. But how can I approach them in this state? Taglines It never looks like they know what they’re saying in this movie – it’s just babies being babies and they throw some dialogue over it.
NC (voiceover): Well, thank God that’s not dated. NC (voiceover): “The computer’s interpretation”? Most of the babies raised in Dr. Kinder's underground research facility were adopted from the Pasadena City orphanage, transformed into little geniuses through use of the Kinder Method, and then used in experiments to decipher this secret yet impossible-to-translate language used by the 7 baby-geniuses. | Two scientists, Dr. Elena Kinder and Dr. Heep use genius baby studies to fund their Babyco theme park. http://channelawesome.com/nostalgia-critic-baby-geniuses/, but it is a film that is so dumb, so ridiculous, so not engaging, that I literally have nothing to say about it, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Book Launch, The Top 11 Naughtiest Moments in Animaniacs, Critic and Nerd: TMNT Making of Coming Out of Their Shells, New vs Old - LOTR Animated vs Lord of the Rings, Top 11 Most Awkward Christopher Walken Moments, Old vs. New: 10 Commandments vs.
The fuck does that mean? NC (voiceover): I think it just means…the computer made it up. NC (voiceover): Yes, everything! Oh, and I forgot to mention this: (A young male teenager walks out of his room in regular teenage clothes colored in pink; even his hair is dyed pink!
NC: (stands up to point and yell at the audience) FUCK YOU ALLLLLLLLL!!!!!! (waves to two men in a control tower) Hiya, fellas! NC (voiceover): So everyone gets rescued safely, and, wouldn’t you know it? Why should that turn heads? (voice), Joey / Don't let them work at Disney World; they’ll give Mickey Mouse a fucking Uzi! Goon Ray: ...and I’m gonna scream and make a funny face and fall down the stairs? I’d rather be watching the Super Bowl babies than watching this shit! (The camera pans around NC as he stares at it expressionless in a voiceover; Cut next to him lying in bed clutching a pillow). Whit Baby Sly was placed in the Baby-Co hybrid developmental habitat. All that talk about it having no impact on the human mind? It has no interesting characters, no interesting story, even a half-assed Roger Rabbit reunion couldn’t possibly make this enjoyable! An astronaut mascot shoots Dr. Kinder and Dr. Heep in the back with a laser gun), NC (voiceover): Who the fuck would put lasers on a children’s mascot?! Why? I can finally do it appropriately. Moves to the left, throw the thing, hop on the ski, hit to the nuts! NC (voiceover): Well, that didn’t go well. I wish this ass-shit would never fucking end! Dr. Heep: We’ve had a couple computers analyze every possible permutation. This is it. It’s good to know the jokes you just said are only in bad movies made it into this bad movie. Technical Specs, See agents for this cast & crew on IMDbPro, Sly / | NC (voiceover): Did I just…push the “Rewind” on the remote? NC (voiceover): And in a way, it never does. (voice) (as Ashli A. Adams), Joey / I thought we dressed you in overalls. (Cut to footage of activity going on at Animarathon and the smiling faces of the attendees as NC walks through the con). (Back to the movie, there is an experiment where a baby randomly plays on a synthesizer in a room next to a female assistant, and the music is translated into a computer). NC (voiceover): Madness. According to Dr. Kinder's research on toddlers/babies, babies are born possessing vast, universal knowledge and speak a secret yet impossible-to-translate baby pre-language called Babytalk. Not my kid.” And just to make things worse, he decides to hide inside a mall, and partakes in…, (Sly, dressed in a disco suit, does a disco dance to the “Stayin’ Alive” song by the Bee Gees; his head is Photoshopped over a little person). How could this film have made so little an impact? I wouldn’t blame him.
All throughout, NC's voice is heard talking in a low, exhausted voice similar to Max Payne, and will do so for the rest of the review), NC (voiceover): Hello, I’m the Nostalgia Critic. (Cuts back to the wall) I’m…hypnotized by it. Vigo (from Ghostbusters 2): (dubs over Carrie) I, Vigo, the scourge of Carpathia, the sorrow of Moldavia command you! is shown over the commercial) Super Bowl Babies, people! | visual effects production assistant: Creative Visual Effects, Inc. lead supervising animator: Creative Visual Effects, Inc. visual effects assistant editor: Creative Visual Effects, Inc. cgi production assistant: Creative Visual Effects, Inc. (as Chris Macewan). cgi production assistant: Creative Visual Effects, Inc. senior visual effects compositor: Visual Frontier.
If only there was something I could say about it. (He crosses his eyes and collapses backward on the bed), (The movie’s title screen is shown, followed by a montage of clips from the movie).
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